Stupid kid.

That would be me.

I'm sitting here watching the Cubs game, wasting time on the internet, and coughing up a lung, and I just got to thinking...I really need to get me a ballplayer. Golleee, I just can't imagine what it would be like to have a man who didn't like sports or who was as unathletic as I am. My ideal would be for me to travel with him during baseball season (all the way through October, of course) watching all the games and not doing a lick of work. My second-place ideal is the same thing without the October travel. Third place is high-dollar tutoring throughout the year and traveling with him the whole time. Fourth is tutoring or teaching and having him be the superstar of a summer league. Fifth place...okay, so hopefully you're getting the picture.

I might also be thinking too highly of myself by imagining that I would snag a professional ballplayer. Especially since I won't talk to anyone with a Y chromosome between the ages of 18 and 45, even more so if they are even remotely sporty. It's kind of been an issue in the past, and definitely a point of confusion and eventual ridicule among my family, friends and acquaintances.

I just want the vicarious competition and the immersion in sports. And the man. I'm thinkin' that having a ballplayer husband would take care of those things, right? Plus it would support my shopping habits.

Ugh, whatever. Let's not lie. At this point, I just want someone my age with muscles who will cuddle with me.