[Anyone else have that song in your head now? Thank you, Queen Latifah.]
1. I can order pizza anytime I want without feeling bad about it. If you haven't been introduced to Papa's Points, by the way, you need to become aware. You get points for every $5 you spend when ordering online from Papa John's. And their new website is super!
2. I can leave my air mattress in the middle of the living room floor for three weeks. Who cares if I can't get to my porch? Does it really matter that half my couch is off-limits to anyone with shoes on? Is it really a big deal that I can't get to my books or my chair or my plants or my candles without falling all over the place? Big fat NO. To all three of those questions.
3. I can do my nails without having to worry about choking anyone. Because really, how many guys like the smells of polish and polish remover?
4. If I keep my blinds closed, I can look as awful as possible without being the least bit self-conscious. And sometimes I look awful with my blinds open. I mean, really, my "awful" is better than some people's "awesome" -- okay I'm kidding. Sort of.
5. No one else is around to eat my candy or drink my milk. How many times would I have to go to the store for milk if I lived with another lactose lover?
6. I can starve myself while sitting on the couch and watching football all day long. A man would be happy about the football part, but I'm thinking he wouldn't do as well without eating. And heck if I'm gonna miss part of the game to make his sandwich.
7. I can listen to the same kinds of music, or even the same songs, over and over and over.... And I don't have to listen to his music, either. We're not gonna be in the same music mood all the time, people. I'm taking advantage of this while I can.
8. The temperature in my apartment depends on MY wants and MY WANTS ONLY. I decide if it's worth the money. I decide if it's worth the frozen toes. I decide if it's worth the sweat. Because it's only my sweat, my toes and my money that have to be considered.
9. I can stay in bed as long as I want to, and no one can make me feel guilty about it. If he wants to go be productive, then fine. Do it. Because he lives somewhere else and I don't have to watch him be productive from my pillow vantage point.
10. I DO WHAT I WANT. I can go to bed at 7. I can watch five Hallmark Christmas movies in a row. I can stack up pizza boxes to the ceiling (though it would be nice to have a man take out the trash...). I can let things become a mess. I can pay my own bills. I can buy whatever I want. I am in charge of my area, my money, my debts, my surpluses, my cleanliness, my free time, my decorations, my food, my music, my everything. I'M IN CHARGE.
So I'll continue to think like this until my Prince Charming comes along. [No wait, I always liked the Beast best...he looks more like a football player. The princes are always so sterile and wispy.] But I tell you what. As soon as I find me that man? SON. I bet you I'll have a whole new top ten.
"Top ten reasons to get over your fear of commitment..."
1 comment:
I had the best time reading this. So funny!! Love you!!!
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