If it were legal for me to videotape my children at school and post it for you, I would do it in a heartbeat. One, just for you to be able to see the junk that I put up with each day. Two, to show you how fun it can be to watch a brain grow wrinkles. Main reason, though, is just because they are perennially, unintentionally hilarious.
I was sitting in Traci's class today (science) talking with her as the kids did groupwork. There's a pair of boys in there who are just about the weirdest and most awkward individuals ever spawned. They alternate between being best buds and mortal enemies (both of which we did see within this class period, by the way). These guys have been working on this same group project for a good few days now, and they picked each other as partners. Seriously, a bit of a shocker. Here's why.
In the beginning of the year, they were written up for fighting each other. Throughout the year, the petulant cries of one could be heard frequently whining at the other: "Shut up, ___! Quit kicking my chair, ___! Don't touch me, ___!" most of which were said when the object of his reproof was across the room. They constantly (yes, constantly, not continually) try to get on each other's nerves then are confused when things get out of hand. It's ridiculous. All of us, in the meantime, sit back and stare with wonderment at how either of them ever got this far without being sucker-punched repeatedly and unmercifully by kids they'd annoyed.
So today, apparently they high-fived each other when they found out they were doing groupwork again. As though they didn't know that they were supposed to be doing this stuff, even though they've been working on it for days and they weren't finished. They've been repeatedly doing things wrong for days, too, so they're a little bit behind anyway. About midway through the class, one comes up and asks a question, asks if he's done it right, and the other one comes up--by the way, did I tell you that one is a cross between JarJar Binks (yes, the dumb Star Wars character) and Forrest Gump, and the other a cross between JarJar Binks and Shawn Wayans?--and starts saying how the other kid messed the drawing up because he colored part of the night sky yellow. Just a big random patch in the corner, all surrounded by black sky and yellow stars, and BAM yellow sky with graphite stars.
I don't even really know what passed in the rest of the conversation, but Traci and I pretty much sat there in disbelief once again, and I was thinking how they each will probably be in committed relationships before I ever have one, which is true, because the weirdest people always find each other, and they have lots of kids. Anyway, after they finished being ridiculous, they sat down, and they started fighting with each other. One hogged all the colored pencils...another was taking up too much space..."he stole my clarinet and won't give it back"...etc. Lovely.
I really just wish I could show you my kids. It's unbelievable.
So today, apparently they high-fived each other when they found out they were doing groupwork again. As though they didn't know that they were supposed to be doing this stuff, even though they've been working on it for days and they weren't finished. They've been repeatedly doing things wrong for days, too, so they're a little bit behind anyway. About midway through the class, one comes up and asks a question, asks if he's done it right, and the other one comes up--by the way, did I tell you that one is a cross between JarJar Binks (yes, the dumb Star Wars character) and Forrest Gump, and the other a cross between JarJar Binks and Shawn Wayans?--and starts saying how the other kid messed the drawing up because he colored part of the night sky yellow. Just a big random patch in the corner, all surrounded by black sky and yellow stars, and BAM yellow sky with graphite stars.
I don't even really know what passed in the rest of the conversation, but Traci and I pretty much sat there in disbelief once again, and I was thinking how they each will probably be in committed relationships before I ever have one, which is true, because the weirdest people always find each other, and they have lots of kids. Anyway, after they finished being ridiculous, they sat down, and they started fighting with each other. One hogged all the colored pencils...another was taking up too much space..."he stole my clarinet and won't give it back"...etc. Lovely.
I really just wish I could show you my kids. It's unbelievable.
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