I HATE BUGS

They're the worst when they are dumb and they wander into my apartment and they get all mesmerized by my paper floor lamp and they fly up into it and get confused and lost and pop straight into the paper shade over and over and over again....

Brandi came over tonight and we made chicken tacos. Here's what to do for some of the things we made:

POLLO AWESOME-O: Wash your chicken. That stuff is nasty. Cut it into pieces, remembering that they'll shrink when you cook 'em, but not that much. Put them in a bowl and pour on a bit of olive oil, mixing it around. Douse the chicken in garlic powder,

OMG SERIOUSLY I NEED THIS BUG TO DIE

onion powder, chili powder, cayenne pepper, cumin, salt, and a bit of oregano (by the way--if you don't want to measure your own seasonings, this is almost the exact mixture you get in a pouch of taco seasoning). Stir like crazy, checking for clumps, and add a little more olive oil if you need it. Stir in a tablespoon or so of lemon as well (though I'm not sure if this actually makes a difference). Flatten the chicken out into a pan heated up to medium-high and cover it. Let it sit until you can't see any pink (maybe 5 minutes?), then stir and cover again for about three or so minutes. Uncover after that to finish cooking and just to get some of the extra juices out. Turn it down and simmer it while you prepare your taco toppings, or just turn it off when you think it's cooked through.

CILANTRO DRESSING: Take some light or fat-free sour cream (Seriously. It's not that different.), add in a bit of salt, a tiny shake of cayenne, a little bit more cumin, some onion powder and some garlic powder. I only make the stuff with two spoonfuls of sour cream, so you'll want to increase spices quite a bit if you use more. Dump in a bunch of dried cilantro (the dried stuff is WAY less potent than the real thing, so keep that in mind) and mix it up. Thin with milk (once again, skim isn't a bad way to go...) and stir until it's an even consistency. You definitely want this one to sit a little while before serving or else it'll just be soupy, decorative sour cream.

SUPER-EASY SOUTHWEST SALSA: Drain and combine one can of unseasoned black beans, corn, half a can of unsalted diced tomatoes, and half a can of diced tomatoes plus mild chilies (notice, this makes it really easy to double the recipe or save some for a later batch). Add in half a diced onion, more if you like extra bite (not extra bites, Dad). Now, for the spices, a variation on the same yummy combo--some salt (but not too much, for this needs to be a sweet and not salty mixture), loads of garlic powder, more cayenne pepper than you might think (though taste it after 10 mins to check if you need more--Brandi reminded me tonight that the more it sits, the hotter it gets), a little chili powder, cilantro if you want it, and the secret ingredient for all non-fruit salsas, SUGAR. You want about, mmm, maybe a tablespoon for this recipe. I just took a lump of sugar that had grown in the bag and squished it until it felt like the right amount, so you might want to taste for this one as well. You shouldn't actually taste the sugar in your salsa; instead, you just won't notice as distinct an acidity from the tomatoes.

Assemble and enjoy, being sure to wear clothing that has a pattern so it won't show up when you drip chicken juice and cilantro dressing all over yourself. That way you can still wear your clothes a few more times before throwing 'em in the wash, and no one will be the wiser. Be sure to listen to some good tunes and eat outside while partaking. It definitely rounds out the whole experience.

Aaaand, to finish it all off: PET Birthday Cake ice cream with a blue ribbon of frosting running through it. Yes. The girl at the Food Lion checkout thing was so right about this stuff.