Here's what my life would be like if I were fabulous.

In high school, our Senior English teacher had us write 100-word stories, which is quite a challenge.  Trying to fit all the elements of a story into 100 words is like trying to put on a brand-new pair of control-top pantyhose.  The one I wrote got mixed reviews from the class; it was perfectly constructed as far as mini-plot and character development go, resulting in praise from many, but the subject matter was powerfully disturbing.  I still think it was a stroke of dark genius, if I may say so.

Here's my challenge to myself today, though -- I want to write a 100-word story that is still a stroke of genius, but maybe not quite so abhorrent.  Here comes the old post-college try: a story about what my life would've been like last night had I not been pining for my bed by nine.


I hang my purse on the coat rack, then turn to survey damage from being late this morning: two scarves and a turtleneck, dismissed; milk forgotten on the counter; shoes splayed awkwardly everywhere.  All a mess, just like my day.

My phone buzzes, the third text asking if I'll be out tonight.

I look beat -- this week took a toll.  I ought to stay in and relax, clean up, get some rest.  But a red dress revives like nothing else....

Another buzz.  Be calm, gentlemen, it's only 7:30.

I wash my face, grin at blank canvas.

The mess can wait.

* * * * * * *

Now, here's the real story of my Friday night.


I hang my purse on the coat rack, arms flailing as I sink into the couch.  Reaching for my takeout, I realize the box next to me is from earlier in the week.  Today's is on the coffee table outside my reach.  Of course.

I watch Easy A via DVR, lapping up chili-cheese that dripped on my hand.  The movie is good, but too long.  It's 8:30 and I'm tired.

I shut my computer and plug in my iPod, choosing sweatpants and sweatshirt for pajamas.  My phone buzzes -- it's Mom, and I pretend I'm not in bed.

Busted.

Sigh.

Goodnight.

* * * * * * *

Awwwwllllriiiiiiiight.  Who's the wordsmith now, y'all?!