Speed Dating part deux

If you haven't read about my speed dating experience yet, start with the entry below.

We fiiiiiinally sat down at tables of four, me being paired with a girl that I'd met and bonded with in the course of the hour we'd been there.  The guys rotated every three minutes.  There were some interesting conversations in the beginning, especially when we talked about sports.  I got super tired of telling everyone the same lines about being a teacher, that's for sure.  I also got tired of being awake.  That affected my ability to ask good questions, so before we were even halfway through, I was already to the HI I'M LAURA WHAT DO YOU DO stage.  And they were always soldiers.  Most of the time, though, they would elaborate on their specific job in the military and you could ask other questions after that.

Sometimes, you aren't that lucky.  That brings me to mentioning some of the characters I met.  Most of the guys were actually pretty great and enjoyable to talk to.  No future husbands or anything, but I wasn't even hoping that would happen.  I would have hung out with them in real life just for fun, though.

On the other hand, you had some characters who made those three minutes seem like ten minutes waiting in line at Wal-Mart in the middle of a sale on NASCAR merchandise.  Let me introduce you to some of my faves.

There was one guy who thought he was awesome, but he really wasn't all that cute and he talked forever about how much he likes science.  I tried to engage him on that topic, but somehow it just wasn't that fun when he tried to wow me with his knowledge and I knew what he was talking about.  It wasn't fun, either, that he kept turning to his friend next to him to argue about nothing, or that they forgot to use the timer on that round and we spend like an hour together.  When he was done, he said I'LL HAVE TO FIND YOU LATER AND WE CAN TALK MORE.  Oh, geez, no, it's okay.  We don't have to.  ALONG WITH LIKE FIFTY OTHER PEOPLE.  EVERYBODY IS SO INTERESTING HERE.  Oh.  Thanks.

There was another guy who told me the minutia about his job as a file clerk for the local hospital.  He has a cart that he wheels around from place to place, picking up the files for patients that have been seen recently (to which I said SO IT'S LIKE A MAIL CART EXCEPT YOU PICK STUFF UP INSTEAD OF HANDING IT OUT?!  I could already see it was going to be a tough one.), then makes sure everything has been scanned in correctly.  He then told me how his supervisor gave him a huge stack of old-school index cards that people's records used to be kept on, ones where they are written by hand and the ink is fading and stuff.  When he finishes picking up the files, he has to go through index cards and darken the ink.  Sometimes he has a big stack of index cards and it takes a long time.  Sometimes he has a small stack of index cards and it doesn't take as long.  Sometimes he doesn't have index cards but that's on the days when he has lots of records.  People, he reminded me of Milton from Office Space, the guy who's in love with his stapler.  No lie.

Last gem I'll tell you about, then I'll let you go.  Richard.  Richard had a sour I'm-better-than-this look on his face the whole time, which, honestly, made me wonder why he paid five bucks to be so unentertained anyway.  I knew Richard was going to be tough, for I'd heard bits of his conversation with my new friend sitting next to me.  Bigtime downer.  I asked him what he did, and he gave me a you're-an-idiot look.  And I was like I'M SORRY WAS THAT THE WRONG QUESTION and he was like I'M IN THE MILITARY.  And I said OKAY I KIND OF GUESSED THAT HAHA BUT WHAT DO YOU DO IN THE MILITARY?  He gave me another look as I waited...and waited...and I said DO YOU NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT and he said NO NOT REALLY.  Okay, fine then.  WELL IF YOU WEREN'T IN THE MILITARY WHAT WOULD YOU DO?  No hesitation -- I WOULD BE A PERSONAL TRAINER.  Shocker.  I couldn't tell by your tight shirt and bad attitude that you would be at all into yourself.  OH IS THAT BECAUSE YOU LIKE TO WORK OUT?  Duh.  YEAH I LIKE TO WORK OUT A LOT BUT I ALSO THINK IT WOULD MAKE PEOPLE FEEL GOOD ABOUT THEMSELVES.  Not if they have to put up with you, Richard.  Jerk.

Anyway, since we did all the mingling beforehand, we rotated people all the way up until about 11:30 (an hour and a half past my bedtime).  I was sitting talking to someone when we realized simultaneously that everyone was getting up and leaving, so we were both like OH EVERYONE'S LEAVING?  SORRY WE DIDN'T GET TO TALK.  OKAY BYE.  We stood around for a minute while my coworker friend chatted it up with a few more guys, then headed back to get all our cars from our meeting spot.  I could have dropped down on the pavement next to my car and taken a nap when we parted ways.

All in all, it was quite fun, and believe it or not, I would do it again.  I still wouldn't go into it hoping to develop meaningful relationships; it was fun just to talk with a bunch of people and to be expected to overtly flirt.  Plus I like having an excuse to talk about myself a lot and let everyone see how cool I think I am.

Well, there you have it.  I hope it equaled all your hopes and dreams.