something new

I'm doing this just for you, Alexandra. I should be washing dishes.

So the Super Bowl is in four days. I'm excited. Just thought I'd mention that.

Um, I've tried to find some prom dates for Anna. I have asked quite a few guys on my hall if they would like to go or if they have friends who would. Nobody has really given me a positive committment. I had one "maybe," and everyone else basically just thought it was really weird that I was trying to find a prom date for my friend from Concord, and that she wouldn't mind going with someone she'd never met. I admit, it is pretty weird, but when you're a girl and guys are scared to ask you to prom for whatever reason (usually just because they are dumb pansies), it's just not fun. You become desperate. I mean, you don't want it to look like nobody wanted to ask you. That would mean you were weird or something. And I'm speaking from experience, kids.

Actually, let me just go ahead and tell you about this. So I didn't really want to go to prom anyway, but when I realized my friends would probably hang me and beat me like a pinata if I didn't go, I decided that it could be an okay deal. No guy asked me, however; not one single senior male thought it would be a good idea to ask Laura to go to prom with him. I'm not bitter, by the way. I'm sad. Sad that some girls don't go to prom because they don't have dates, while some guys go to prom by themselves or with friends because they are too darn scared to ask a girl.

Anyway, I waited until the night before the very last day of ticket sales. So I thought, at least. They didn't tell us that we could get them later on in the semester. That knowledge probably would have saved me lots of cell phone minutes (talking to Sarita about possibilities) and lots of brain hurting and lots of uncertainty and lots of unhappiness and lots of fretting and lots of anger and lots of other terrible and unfun feelings. I bolded those to emphasize to the guys out there just what kind of junk you're creating when you are too much of a wuss to ask a girl to prom. I mean it's freaking prom, not a marriage proposal. But anyway, I waited until the night before the supposed last day of ticket sales, and I finally decided I'd ask someone myself. The default is the fun junior class friend, since the senior guys are taken or going stag. Notice how many senior girls take junior guys to prom. Yeah, that's thanks to all the stupid guys who take junior girls to prom instead of making the girls in their own grade feel better about themselves. You guys lose. I hate it when senior guys take junior girls to prom. That is, unless they are dating. Then I definitely understand. Definitely.

Anyway, so I asked my friend Daniel, a junior who was in my calculus and 20th century history classes. To tell you the truth, I had way more fun with Daniel than I probably would have with any of the stupid freaking wuss guys in my senior class. I really did have a blast. There was no pressure about anything at all--we only danced maybe three dances together, and otherwise we just hung out with whomever we wished. And since Daniel was there because I asked him, he was my slave. Ha okay, not my slave, I'm way kidding. He was there because I asked him, though, and so I could hang out with my friends, not worrying about feeling weird because "my date wanted to go with his friends so we did and I don't really know any of them that well and I don't know their dates well either so this is really awkward." I'm not advocating guys taking non-senior girls, by the way--I'm just saying thank goodness mine worked out. Some people's don't. Plus it's better to have the awkward feeling of hanging out with the guy's friends than having the icky feeling of not having anyone ask you to prom. Mmmmhmm.

You know, I even had my friend probe some other guy's head to see if he'd be open to the idea of going with me. She must have told him straight up eventually, because he was like, man, I wish you'd told me earlier. I would have loved to go with Laura.---Psh, whatever fool. Like I'm going to tell you that I want to go to prom with you. That's the guy's deal. Plus, if you thought I might go with you, you should have asked me long ago. We're buddies. Why the heck would I turn down a prom invitation, first of all, and second, why the heck would I turn down a prom invitation from my good friend?

Guys, a word of advice: if you are friends with a girl, and if nobody's asked her to prom yet, and if it's getting close to ticket-buying time (like within two or three weeks, though that's cutting it close), go ahead and ask. She'll be so flattered and excited someone asked her, and she'll likely say yes. You kids will have a good time, too, since you're already friends. Do it. Please. Ask her.

Really, ask her. Je parle vrais (or however you say "I speak the truth" in French).

So I guess that's the moral of the story. And again, if you want to go to prom with Anna, or if you know anyone who would, let me know. Otherwise she'll end up like me, ranting about prom in a stupid blog. And by the way, I'm not sad. Bump sad. I'm bitter. And I like bold words.