I'm soooo tired that...

Since I clearly haven't complained enough about breaklessness-induced exhaustion, let me introduce you to my version of mama jokes.  Instead of "Yo mama's so fat..." we're going for "I'm soooo tired..."  Ready to play?

I'm soooo tired that...

...I'm shaking.
...I'm venturing on nausea.
...I don't want to talk to anyone.
...I would be willing to talk to anybody.
...I can't join my hands in any way that is comfortable.
...I wouldn't even reach into the dishwasher for a plate.
...I won't go to the bathroom unless it's absolutely necessary.
...I keep spontaneously groaning.
...I find my spontaneous groaning hilarious every time.
...I feel the need to shiver and wiggle spastically.
...I don't think I'll ever move from this couch.
...I don't even feel like facebooking.
...I haven't picked up a second piece of pizza.
...I am overwhelmed by tiny messes (yikes).
...I could fall asleep sitting up.
...I can't help but plan to get away.
...I counted the days until spring break (25 too many).
...I almost gave up counting the days until spring break.
...I miss my blue room even though it's cold.
...I want to go home.

Don't be sad, Mom.  I'll be fine in about three days.  Until then, it's Beauty and the Beast for me, and hopefully I'll be able to pick up that second piece of pizza here soon before it cools off.  The first one helped the shaking a little bit.

Oh golly, y'all.  Pray for me.  Pray for all of us teachers.